“I AM LEARNING TO TRUST THE JOURNEY EVEN WHEN I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.” – MILA BROWN
The greatest success stories–from Albert Einstein and Walt Disney to J.K. Rowling and Abraham Lincoln–all begin with failure, despair, and a “rock bottom” moment. Einstein, considered one of the greatest scientists of all time, couldn’t speak fluently until age nine and was expelled from school for a track record of misbehavior. Walt Disney, the famous film producer and creator of beloved characters like Mickey Mouse, dropped out of school at an early age, was fired from a newspaper job for his lack of creativity, and one of his early business ventures went bankrupt. Before writing the famous Harry Potter series and becoming the first person to become a US-dollar billionaire from writing books, author J.K. Rowling says she hit rock bottom and “had failed on an epic scale,” losing her marriage, job, and nearly everything else. Before becoming the most-loved and highly respected US president in history, Abraham Lincoln failed in business, suffered a nervous breakdown, and was defeated in his first presidential race attempt.
My story is no different. I suffered from an eating disorder for nearly five years. Today, I am fully recovered and living a whole and happy life. But there was a time when I never thought recovery was possible. My rock bottom moment happened when I was studying abroad in England. I remember waking up one morning and thinking, “This is it. I’m going to die right here, and no one will even know.” Looking back, I realize that all the hard days, the I-want-to-give-up days, and the days when I thought recovery was impossibly out of reach, were all part of the process. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
If you are currently struggling through eating disorder treatment and recovery and wondering if you’ll ever reach the other side, first, I’m here to tell you that this is all part of the journey. When you learn to trust the process and continue to push forward (even when things feel impossibly challenging), you WILL find healing and wholeness. Second, I want to share with you six simple strategies I learned throughout my eating disorder recovery journey. These strategies will not only help you learn how to trust the process, but they will also motivate you to keep moving forward in eating disorder treatment and recovery.
Understand Recovery Takes Time and Hard Work
One of the first steps in learning how to trust the process in eating disorder recovery is accepting the fact that recovery doesn’t happen overnight. Not only are you working to heal and restore your physical health after months or even years of harmful behaviors (restriction, bingeing, purging, etc.), but you’re also working to rebuild your thought patterns and heal your psychological health. This takes time, patience, and hard work. “In the beginning, the painful beginning, the results were slower to come than I would have liked. I found myself […] wondering when the ‘finish line’ would come,” writes Ashley Harms, MS, CAP, CRC in a Recovery Connection article.
Just like Ashley, you may feel like you’re not making much progress and you may even find yourself wondering if you can make it to the finish line. If so, know that you are right where you need to be. Thousands of people before you have recovered from an eating disorder, yet none of them have done so in a single day. Recovery is hard work for everyone, so if some days you feel like giving up or feel like the process is taking forever, know that you’re in good company and keep on trusting the process. As Meghan Kacmarcik says of recovery in a Bustle article, “As with most worthwhile endeavors in this life, I can tell the road is long but the reward is worth it.”
Remember How Far You’ve Come
A few weeks ago, my husband and I went on a trip with friends. My mom agreed to babysit our 5-month-old cat while we were away. When we got back from the trip and picked our cat up, we both swore he’d grown six inches longer, but my mom didn’t notice any difference! Why? When you’re living with someone, it’s hard to see the small (but steady) growth and change taking place before your eyes.
During recovery, you may have a hard time seeing the changes taking place in your mind and body. Some days you may even feel discouraged because you feel stuck or thought you’d be farther along in recovery by now. On days like these, remind yourself to trust the process and know that even if you can’t see it, change and progress is happening. And if you want to encourage yourself, start a journal and keep track of your thoughts and feelings. Then on the days you’re feeling discouraged, you can go back and remember just how far you’ve come.
Set Small Goals
If you’re struggling to trust the recovery process or feeling discouraged about the progress you have (or haven’t) made, it may be that your recovery goals are too big. “Setting the bar too high can serve to de-motivate and discourage you from ever getting started,” says Sonia Thompson, in an Inc. article. While Thompson is referencing business and career goals, the principle applies to eating disorder recovery.
When you only have one enormous goal in sight (e.g. I will never engage in ED behaviors again), you’re likely to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. But when you let go of the big expectations and instead, set small, realistic goals that you can focus on one day at a time, you not only learn to trust the recovery process, but you finally start to make noticeable progress. Iris Ruth Pastor, an author and speaker who struggled with bulimia for 46 years, says it this way: “By taking small steps—not large leaps that couldn’t be sustained—I succeeded.”
So take a moment to redefine your recovery goals. Do they sound too big and impossible? If so, they probably are. Now write down five small, definable goals (e.g. I will eat breakfast today, I will not purge after my meals, I will eat until I’m full, etc.). Pick one of these small goals to focus on and accomplish each new day.
Embrace the Hard Days
Recovering from an eating disorder is a nonlinear journey full of twists and turns. Some days you may feel like you’ve lost your way and other days, you may even slip back into old thought patterns and behaviors. This is just part of the journey. In fact, around 35 percent of patients in recovery from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa experience a relapse. So instead of giving up on the hard days, learn to trust the process, knowing that you can get back up and keep moving forward tomorrow, no matter what happened yesterday.
Rediscover Trust for Your Body
One of the most critical steps you can take in learning to trust the recovery process is learning to trust your body. For many in ED treatment, the lack of trust they have with their bodies is one of the biggest obstacles to the recovery process. After months or even years of trying to control your body’s weight and shape by restricting food intake, suppressing hunger and fullness cues, or bingeing and purging, it’s a scary thought to let go and begin to take care of your body and, more importantly, trust that it will take care of you.
Many people in recovery struggle with the idea of weight gain and worry that if they allow themselves to eat, they’ll lose control and never stop. The truth is, your body will most likely go through some changes during recovery. That’s a good thing! Remember, your body is perfectly designed to keep you healthy and alive, and now that you’re finally starting to give it the nutrition and care it needs, it will begin to do its job. So let go of fear, embrace your body’s inner wisdom, and trust that whatever your body decides to do during recovery is just part of the process.
Keep in mind that during the early stages of recovery, you may have a hard time listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. During this time, it’s important to carefully follow the meal plan laid out by your treatment team or nutritionist. But once again, if you think your body is changing in response to your treatment-prescribed eating or movement plan, trust the process and know that your body is doing what is best for you and your health.
Have Ongoing Support
Finally, if you’re struggling to trust the process of eating disorder treatment and recovery, seek professional support. Whether you’ve just been diagnosed with an eating disorder or have already gone through an eating disorder treatment program, having ongoing professional support is critical to recovery. Meeting regularly with an eating disorder specialist ensures you stay motivated in recovery, helps keep you on track, and reminds you to get back up and keep moving forward. Eating disorders are serious illnesses and though recovery requires hard work and patience, if you learn to trust the process and embrace the journey, you’ll begin to experience healing and hope.
Sarah Musick is a freelance writer who specializes in eating disorder awareness and education. After battling with a 4-years long eating disorder, she made it her mission to help others find hope and healing in recovery.
Her work has been featured on numerous eating disorder blogs and websites. When she’s not writing, Sarah is off traveling the world with her husband.
If you or someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to talk to someone about recovery or simply learn more about the eating disorder recovery programs we offer.
