It’s typically very hard to manage an eating disorder and the holidays. There are stressors and triggers everywhere you turn. These are our best tips to help you stay in eating disorder recovery during the holidays (and maybe even have some fun while you’re at it.)
Planning for Eating Disorder Recovery During the Holidays
1. PINPOINT WHAT HAS THE BIGGEST POTENTIAL TO SET YOU BACK IN YOUR RECOVERY.
There are probably a lot of things you used to be able to do without any issues during the holidays. But now, it might be difficult to engage in traditions and new special events.
And that’s okay. It’s normal. You just have to acknowledge that things aren’t exactly the same as they were, and think about where you may struggle.
You might:
- Struggle with body image, since you might have to dress up for certain events
- Experience anxiety around potlucks or buffets
- Have difficulty facing fear foods such as sweets or otherwise “unhealthy” food, even though all foods have a place in your diet
- Suffer from social anxiety and social fatigue as the holiday season goes on
Acknowledge what might be hard, so you can plan ways to manage any distress — or avoid certain holidays events and traditions altogether — ahead of time.
Related: This is how to adopt an all foods fit mentality, possibly in time to try a food you really want to but are too afraid to right now.
2. SAY “NO” WHEN YOU NEED TO.
A lot of people with eating disorders are perfectionists, so they feel the need to show up to every event, volunteer for setup, and tend to the needs of everyone but themselves.
However, if trying to make it to every event in your social calendar, participate in every tradition, and dealing with the gift buying and receiving is too much, you need to say “no” to something.
This applies even if you want to challenge your eating disorder in a bold new way.
For example, if you want to go against your eating disorder and try a rich piece of cake made by a loved one, that’s great. However, if there’s a chance that you will compensate for this challenge food later on using eating disorder behaviors, it’s not worth it to push yourself right now.
3. PLAN AHEAD WITH YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM.
Address potential challenges and setbacks with your treatment team if you have one. Also, talk to your support system about any concerns and ask for help when you need it.
For example, if you are really nervous about a work party, ask someone you trust to go with you. Then, you’ll have someone in your corner if you need to be calmed down or need to leave the party entirely.
4. PLAN TO DO SOME HOLIDAY-RELATED THINGS THAT ARE NOT ABOUT FOOD.
It feels like every get together features food right now, which is part of why it’s so hard to hang onto your recovery during the holidays.
So, plan some activities to engage with your loved ones that don’t involve food. You could:
- Decorate your home for the holidays
- Shop for gifts together
- Watch holiday specials
- Make holiday cards for your loved ones
- Volunteer and give back to your community
- Go out and see a holiday light display, or just walk around your neighborhood and notice any outdoor decor
5. PLAN SOMETHING TO DE-STRESS AND DECOMPRESS.
If you’re feeling socially burned out, carve out time in the middle of the day or in the evening to do something alone. Maybe you watch TV, read, clean, or take a nap — whatever feels soothing for you.
If you’re feeling anxious about checking everything off your to-do list, put the list down and take a break for a while.
Maintaining Eating Disorder Recovery During the Holidays: Coping During Holiday Events and Traditions
1. DO NOT “COMPENSATE” FOR EATING A LOT OR FOR EATING CERTAIN FOODS AT AN EVENT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU GO.
It’s a really common practice for individuals — with or without an eating disorder — to avoid eating before an event to “save room” for the meal.
However, this can cause you to:
- Binge eat at an event
- Get caught in a cycle of binge eating and restricting food
- Build up fear around the event itself
- Avoid eating because you’re already restricting your food intake
- Compensate for binge eating through compensating via vomiting, overexercise, laxative abuse, or another form of purging
2. TAKE SOOTHING OBJECTS AND COPING SKILLS WITH YOU.
If there’s something you really enjoy having — a sentimental object that makes you feel good, a fidget toy that you can distract yourself with, a playlist of music that comforts you — bring it with you.
That way, you’ll have something to put your energy into if you start feeling stressed or anxious.
3. TAKE YOUR SUPPORT PERSON WITH YOU, WHETHER THEY’RE YOUR PLUS-ONE OR THEY’RE WITH YOU VIRTUALLY.
A lot of events, especially ones with friends and family who might not have seen you in a while, can be especially difficult to get through. People may comment on your body, on how it may (or may not) have fluctuated since the last time you saw each other, about where you have been if you had to leave work or school to focus on your recovery, or a number of other triggering subjects.
To make these events easier, take a support person with you, one who can either redirect the conversation or pull you away from the noise and into a quiet place of safety.
If having someone come in person isn’t possible, have a friend or family member with you virtually, via text, call, or live video chat. You can text furiously under the table, take time away to call someone, or completely leave a room for a while and video chat with them.
4. TAKE A LIST OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS OR YOUR REASONS FOR RECOVERY WITH YOU.
Whether you’re a natural poet or stumble over your words, you can definitely write down a list of phrases that make you feel stronger, and a list of reasons why you don’t want this holiday season to throw you off the rails.
If you can’t think of any positive affirmations, look some up online. If you relate to song lyrics, write those down. You definitely have a reason to recover, otherwise you wouldn’t have started the recovery journey in the first place. Write those down, too.
Then, put that list in your pocket, purse, etc. Pull it out when you feel the urge to engage in an eating disorder behavior, to ground yourself in your recovery.
5. DON’T FEEL THE PRESSURE TO HAVE A “PERFECT” HOLIDAY SEASON.
The holidays are so busy, with parties, presents, decorating, special food and drinks, and more. A lot of people feel the need to either “get into the spirit” of the holidays, or orchestrate the perfect holiday experience for others.
If you don’t feel the holiday spirit in your heart this year, that’s okay. You’re not “ruining” someone else’s holiday if you’re not really feeling it.
If it’s not sustainable to both provide the perfect holiday experience for others and maintain your recovery, you need to offload some of the responsibility. For example, if you usually orchestrate your family’s secret gift giving tradition, and it’s really stressing you out, then find someone else to do it, or scale back on the number of things you do for your family and friends altogether.
Your loved ones will understand if doing everything in the world for them is just too much.
And always, have a plan in place for if you experience a slip, lapse, or relapse in recovery.
This is extra important during the holidays, especially since you might not be getting the same amount of treatment at a treatment center or your therapy appointments might be rescheduled due to the holidays.
The moment you perform an eating disorder behavior, make your very next decision in a recovery mindset.
If you notice yourself really slipping, reach out to your support system and ask them to help you get back on track. And if you are really struggling with recovery during the holidays, consider moving to a higher level of care to get the professional support you need.
If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to someone about recovery or start by learning about the eating disorder recovery programs we offer.
