Lies Your Eating Disorder Tells You

Written by ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Staff Writer

A lot of times in eating disorder recovery, you may hear about the eating disorder self vs. healthy self. When in the depths of an eating disorder, it can feel like the thoughts around your body, weight, and food have taken on a life of their very own. The truth and reality you once knew, or partially can still recognize, can be harder and harder to see as the eating disorder tries to lock you into its full control. These distorted beliefs and thoughts can keep you stuck in a cycle of behaviors insisting that is the only way to live. Learning to recognize these lies and distortions for what they are, will allow you to start taking back control.

10 Common Lies Your Eating Disorder may be Telling you and What the Truth Really is Behind Them

1. You can stop these behaviors whenever you want to

When you have moments where you step back and realize maybe things are out of control and you contemplate recovery, your eating disorder may be quick to tell you that you are able to stop whenever you are able to. The truth is, eating disorder symptoms are hard to stop once you are in the cycle of it, especially without recovery support. If you have tried stopping more than once and found yourself back where you started, it may be time to think about seeking treatment.

2. It’s okay that I ______ (binge, purge, restrict, overexercise etc.) because it’s only X amount of times a day/week/month

Your eating disorder may try to justify your binging, purging, restricting or obsessive exercising behavior if it is only X times a day, week or month. A good way to step outside of your eating disorder’s opinion and assess the situation, ask yourself, would you be OK with a loved one telling you that they were engaging in these same behaviors? Deep down, your healthy self knows that these behaviors are not okay, no matter how frequent. Any disordered eating behaviors are damaging and dangerous to both your physical and emotional health. This lie is just an excuse to keep you continuing in the same cycle you are in, likely risking the frequency of behaviors to increase over time.

3. You are _______ (too old, too big, eat too much etc.) to have an eating disorder

Eating disorders do not discriminate. Period. People of all genders, ages, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights are impacted by developing an eating disorder. To keep you stuck in the cycle of disordered behaviors, your thoughts may tell you that there are a million reasons you can’t be someone who has an eating disorder. “You are too old,” “you aren't thin enough” “ you don't look like someone who has an eating disorder,”
“you eat way too much.” The most important thing to ask yourself is, are you spending a majority of your time focused on food, your body, your weight? If so, that is the only thing that matters when it comes to determining whether you are struggling or not.

4. You will be happy once you lose enough weight

Diet culture and the obsession with the thin ideal has led many people to believe that thinness is synonymous with happiness and success. Accepting this is false can be extra challenging when an eating disorder reinforces this belief with all of its might. When we have been led to believe this ultimate-path-to-happiness illusion our whole lives, it can be difficult to sit with the reality that our body, weight and appearance do not dictate our ability to be happy. Not to mention, eating disorders steal away the opportunity to feel both happiness and sadness; usually leaving people in a state of numbness. The truth is, recovering and letting go of this illness is the only way to truly enjoy life and all it has to offer.

5. You will feel better about your body once you change it.

"Once I lose X pounds, I'll feel better about my body."

"Once these jeans fit me again, I'll feel better about my body."

"Once I reach my goal weight, I will be happy with my body."

When struggling with body image and disordered eating, the solution to the discomfort is often to lose weight, change your body's appearance, or 'fix' the perceived problem. The problem is, attempting to fix negative body image by focusing on your body doesn't actually work. No matter what number on the scale you see, what jeans you fit into, or what goal you reach - the discomfort you feel about your body, and in your body, will only improve if you focus on the thoughts, beliefs and judgments you have on your body through eating disorder recovery. Hating yourself into loving your body is certainly not the answer despite what ED may say.

6. You cannot eat certain food without losing control

In recovery, learning to let go of the rules you have around eating is an important step on the journey to food freedom. You may still feel anxiety around certain foods and continue to listen to the voice you will be unable to control yourself should you allow a forbidden food. Letting this eating disorder lie continue to control the narrative around food and stop you from truly trusting yourself, you put yourself at risk of slipping back or further into your eating disorder. The truth is, when you allow yourself to eat all foods and defy your eating disorders rules, the deprivation-binge cycle slowly comes to an end much easier.

7. You must know your weight at all times

Many people with eating disorders feel they must know their weight at all times. Letting go of this number and attempting to throw out the scale can be an extremely terrifying part of recovery. When your eating disorder shouts that you must know your weight at all times, step back and ask yourself, what am I so afraid of? Is it that you will lose control, that you will gain too much, that your happiness depends on that number? A reminder that no matter what you see on the scale, it will never be enough for an eating disorder. The desire to lower the number will never go away no matter what you see. The only way to win this fight is to realize how little of importance this number truly has in your life and who you are as a person.

8. You aren’t sick enough or worthy enough to deserve treatment or support

“Am I sick enough for treatment?,” “Do I deserve help to recover from my eating disorder?,” “Am I even worthy of recovery?” These lies can creep in loudly, especially when you are taking the right steps to fight your eating disorder. When you are contemplating treatment, eating disorders will try to convince you that you're not sick enough. The truth is, there is no 'sick enough' benchmark that warrants you worthy of seeking support. If you are struggling, you deserve to have the right treatment to help you recover no matter what. If you are questioning whether you are sick enough, this is a sign that you are. People who are not struggling with an eating disorder do not question this. Struggling with any preoccupation with food, weight, and body means you deserve support.

9. You don’t belong in treatment, you’re not that sick

Whether you are in an inpatient, residential, or an outpatient program for your eating disorder, there are times where you may strongly feel 'I'm not sick like these other people, I don't need to be here.' You may disagree with your treatment team, your family, and loved ones to try to prove you are fine and healthy enough to leave. The truth is, the providers supporting you in treatment have no ulterior motive to put you in the level of care you are in, unless they feel you truly need it. It is uncomfortable to be in treatment, relinquishing control of your eating disorder may cause feelings of distress, anxiety, panic, sadness and/or anger. All of these feelings are valid and should be expressed, but instead what often happens is eating disorders take these moments as an opportunity to swoop in and say that you don't belong. Recognize that this lie is dangerous and can stop you from progressing where you truly want to go. In these moments, try to connect with the reasons you sought out or committed to treatment in the first place. Whether it was because you were feeling exhausted, hopeless, or frustrated, you had a small part of you that wanted to give recovery a try. No matter how tiny that spark of hope was and is, it is still somewhere inside you.

10. Recovery is not possible…this is not worth it…etc.

Recovery from an eating disorder is not an easy process. There will be times where you feel like giving up. There will be times you feel unsure this is the path you want to take. There will be times you miss your eating disorder. In those moments ED may whisper "recovery isn't worth it." It may be convincing to cave in and return to your eating disorder. But, recovery from an eating disorder is worth it. The ability to live a life free from the obsession of food, your weight, your body is possible. And you are not alone! Many people have shared their stories of recovery and why it is worth it. The freedom you deserve is on the other side of your eating disorder, you deserve the opportunity to experience it.

How many of these eating disorder lies did you resonate with? How can you continue to lean into your healthy self and fight for your recovery? Reminder, you do not have to do it alone. If you are looking for support on your journey to recover from your eating disorder, our team at ‘Ai Pono would be honored to help. Learn more about our programs by reaching out to us today.

Ai PonoMarch 21, 2022